We all have an inner coach inside. One that encourages and keeps us going. One that asks the right questions at the right time to keep us on track. One that helps us to get refocused.
(If this doesn’t sound familiar, then I highly encourage you to find and start working on your inner coach)
I've had one for as long as I can remember, though my inner coach didn’t always hang around as much as she does now. Instead, my coach would be replaced by my own personal critic, and ladies, SHE IS ROUGH!
The things she says to me! There’s no way I’d have any friends or clients if I spoke like that to other people.
I’ve learned to ask her to leave, so she isn’t sticking around for quite as long as she used to, but there are still days when I just don’t have the strength. I start buying into her bullshit as she suffocates the inner coach right out of me.
I've noticed she especially likes to show up when my inner coach is helping me to learn or practice something new.
Like this morning. I woke up with the intention of being a thermostat, not a thermometer, but she knew that was going to be hard for me. It was my FIRST day trying this, so she did her best to speak over my coach as much as she could.
What do I mean by being a thermostat?
Well, just yesterday I was listening to a presentation by Dean Graziosi and he talked about being a thermostat vs a thermometer.
For some reason this visual really stuck with me, probably because there are a lot of real life thermostat discussions in our house. I want the house to be at a nice cool temperature and my husband would rather it be hotter inside than it is outside.
So we bicker quite a bit about what we want the temperature to be because we’re not happy with the current reading. We’re aware that we can change it.
The thermometer tells us what the temperature of the room is. It feels how hot or cold it is and it adapts to let us know.
A thermostat, on the other hand, is what we use to tell the room what we WANT it to be. Not what it is, but where we want it to be. A thermostat doesn’t adapt to its surroundings, it sets the mood for its surroundings.
WHY don’t we do that with our days or our moods?
I’ve spent MANY days being a thermometer- feeling the room, letting the outside control the inside. I rarely considered the fact that I can choose to be a thermostat, setting the intention for where I want to be and working to get there.
So this morning when I was hell bent on being a thermostat, I could feel myself turning into a thermometer.
Went up on the scale instead of down- up went my attitude.
Couldn’t find the cover to my coffee cup? Frustration rose.
Looked at the clock and saw that I was supposed to have left 5 minutes ago- full blown heated.
My inner critic stepped in and she started to go at it. “These people don't care about your stuff. They use your cups and put them wherever they want, and you’re the one who has to find them and clean them. And they’re YOURS. You should have hid them. You should be more organized. If you weren’t so lazy, you’d have all this stuff put away in the right place. Then you wouldn’t have to search for every damn thing before you go…”
No. I recognized her voice, and I put her out. I brought my inner coach in.
What did we say we wanted to be today?
And what does that mean?
It means I set the mood where I want it. I set my happiness levels where I want them.
How do you want to feel?
Happy. Energized. Not stressed.
Is not having your portable coffee cup enough to ruin your entire day?
YES! Ok…no, but …<sigh>..I can make it work. I can take it like this and be careful on my drive. I”ll make sure I have one ready to go tomorrow morning.
Good. We have a long day planned and we don’t want to shut down as soon as we’re getting started.
For now, but I better keep her close today. Lord knows I like to try and do it without her sometimes.
We all think we know better. But when it’s time to put our knowledge (inner coach) to use we usually can’t access it because of all of the noise( inner critic) that’s filling our heads. So we do what we always do, get in our own way.
Having an inner coach is everything. It takes time to train her, to teach her, to accept and invite her.
Growing your inner coach is something I help my clients with through our coaching. I’ve been teaching people to ask themselves questions in order to solve (math) problems for years. This is no different.
If you’re ready to grow your inner coach I have two great opportunities coming your way.
The first is a limited FREE offer for a month of coaching starting in February 2023. Click here for the details and to apply. All applications must be in by February 4th.
The second one will be announced in a few weeks. Until then, imagine having a coach in your pocket to teach you how to coach yourself in the future!